Even More Dumb Signs

I get that not everyone is a grammar geek like me. Most people don't get excited about editing and correcting grammar mistakes (although I just don't understand why not). But if you're a company, with a public image, and your main focus is to promote your business, gain customers, and MAKE MONEY, wouldn't it make sense that you'd make a concerted effort to use proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation in your signs? The following photos just make me shake my head....and seriously consider NOT shopping there.

I found this one on the front doors of a Belk department store in GA, right around Mother's Day (and anyway, shouldn't it be Mothers' Day? More than one mother celebrates on that special Sunday every May, right?). But I digress....Selfs? Really? No. The plural form of the word self is not selfs. That's NOT EVEN A WORD. Even my built-in spell check tells me so, with its angry, red squiggly line underneath. But my inner first grader told me so first, which is why I snapped the photo on my way into the store. I'm not going to tell you what the word should be. If you've made it past first grade too, you should already know it.

I'm disappointed in you, Target. We had such a great relationship for so long. But I just don't know if I can take this kind of thing. It's not me; it's you. The word women is already plural. You don't add an s to make it...more plural. Maybe they were going for possessive here? As in Women's Section? If so, then the apostrophe is missing. Either way, it's still WRONG.

I didn't take a very good photo of this one; the flash ended up putting a glare right where the problem is. No, people; apostrophes don't make things plural. (You will hear/read me say this many times.) Sheesh. By the way, I found this beauty in one of those junk touristy shops in downtown Gatlinburg, TN. You know the ones. I won't even comment on the significance of getting a tattoo "just like in the movies." Makes me shudder.

I'm not sure what rosted strips are, but they're cheap! Now, I would give The Colonel the benefit of the doubt if there was a space between the o and the s in rosted, indicating that high winds or some other act of God had blown away the missing a. But no, this was not God's fault. We just have stupid people at this KFC. This one was in Nashville, TN, right near the international airport. Great. So we can prove to the world they were right about us Southerners all along.

So tell me this...if an apostrophe and an s make a video, cassette, or a CD plural, why aren't they also needed for returns and exchanges? If video's, cassette's and CD's (oh, excuse me--C.D.'S), then why not return's and exchange's too? Apostrophes don't make things plural, folks!! (There it is again!) I don't even remember where I took this photo. By the date stamped on it though, you can tell I've been collecting these for a long time. It's, like, one of my favorite hobbies...next to riding roller coasters.

I know you're just dying to see more of these gems, aren't you? Don't worry, I have plenty more to share. Stay tuned....

More Dumb Signs

Saw this in the airport in Baltimore, I believe. Be relax, huh? Yeah, you do that.



These gems were spotted in a public parking lot near Boone, NC. (We were on our way to try out Black Cat Burrito - YUMMY!) "Free one hour only. Not a pay lot. No long term parking. Not a pay lot. No ticket needed. One hour only free. Long-term parking at end of lot, at pay meters. Not a pay lot. No ticket needed. One hour only free. Long-term parking at end of lot. At pay meters. Questions please come around." Wait. What am I supposed to do again? And if your questions try to go around, they will see the same signs on the other side. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. And why are you yelling at me?

Downer Abbey and Idiots on GetGlue

I just finished watching season three of Downton Abbey, and I've decided they should change the title to Downer Abbey. What in the world?! I don't want to spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it, but OMGoodness! Why, Julian Fellowes, why?!

Speaking of spoilers, let me just rant here for a moment. (Right now I'm the Rantin' Maven rather than the Ravin' Maven.) Nowadays, most people have DVRs, am I right? So, if you're like me, you don't ever get a chance to actually watch the show when it first airs. I'm lucky if I get to see it within three months of its airing. I don't know many people who actually do get to watch a show live. (I couldn't even tell you when my favorites come on. I just set the DVR and when I go look for them, they've magically appeared.) So, DON'T SPOIL IT FOR US! I love GetGlue. I love getting the stickers (although I never know what to do with them once they arrive). So I check in to GetGlue when I finally get around to watching my shows. I usually do it as soon as I sit down to watch. And once you check in, you get the screen that shows everyone's comments who have recently checked into that same show, right? Well three times now in one month, things have been spoiled for me by idiots on GetGlue!! Once was with The Vampire Diaries (I now know who has recently died even though I still have not gotten that far in the episodes, so now I'm just watching and waiting for it to happen.), and the other two were with Downton Abbey. I'm so frustrated! So I knew it was going to happen before it did, and the entire last (double) episode was a downer for me. It was made worse because Mr. Maven did not know exactly what happens, but he knew something was up because of my being spoiled by idiots on GetGlue. So the experience was kind of ruined for him too. So just don't do it. If you get to watch the episode as it airs originally, good for you. But don't run to a social network and blab to the world, because someone might just be checking in so she can get the limited-time sticker, but is delayed in watching because she's got to put her baby to bed. She doesn't want to know!

So now I don't know if I want to watch season four of Downton Abbey. (But you know I will because how could I not? The show is amazing.) I just don't see how they can do it now! Which way is the story going to go? Oh how I love this show.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go now and rent season one. You must. Your life is not complete yet. And once you've done that, come back and thank me. Here it is on Netflix. Here it is on Amazon Prime Instant Video (free for Amazon Prime members!). You're welcome. Just don't check into GetGlue yet. There are idiots on there.